The Barenaked Ladies Song "One Week" Holds A Dark, Terrifying Secret

It’s been one week since your homicide. Cocked your head to the side as you died.


Remember the song "One Week"? The mostly harmless and catchy Barenaked Ladies song from 1998?



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It's been one week since you looked at me

Cocked your head to the side and said "I'm angry"

Five days since you laughed at me saying

"Get that together, come back and see me"


Nothing too crazy yet...the opening lines tell the story of a couple fighting. They split up, and the girlfriend tells the boyfriend to only come back once he gets his life in order.



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Madame Tussauds Now Has A "Tissue Attendant" For Their One Direction Sculptures

Cry over Zayn as much as you want, someone will be there to mop up your tears.


Ever since One Direction's Zayn Malik departed from the group, the teen world has been in awash with tears.



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17 Times Tumblr Was As Hardcore A "Friends" Fans As You Are

Could they be any more into that show?



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This Dog Just Sent The Cutest Apology To A High School Librarian

Ms. Mabel is a Basset Hound just full of regret.


But as you can see, she was very sorry:


But as you can see, she was very sorry:


"Ms. Schmitt ~ My mom hid this from me, but I can smell a Pulitzer Prize winner from a mile away. Frankly, I found the ending to be quite disappointing (as you can see). I did all future readers a favor. My mom says it's coming out of my allowance. (I was saving for a new collar).

I'm sorry,

Ms. Mabel"


imgur.com / reddit.com


Don't fret, Ms. Mabel! No one can stay mad at such a cute dog for long.


Don't fret, Ms. Mabel! No one can stay mad at such a cute dog for long.


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15 Tips For Acing Your Next Gyno Exam, From Someone Who Teaches Doctors How To Do Them

You don’t need a white coat to be the boss of your own vagina.



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So, you’re going to the gynecologist!


So, you’re going to the gynecologist!


And, if you're like most people, you’re probably not looking forward to it. You might even be freaking out a little. Or a lot! But remember: This is your exam, and you get to feel good about it. And I'm going to give you some tips for how to do that.


I'm a gynecological teaching associate (GTA), which means I use my own body to teach nursing, medical, and physician assistant students to perform safe, comfortable, and empowering gynecological exams. In each session I teach a few students how to do the techniques, what they're looking for, and how to communicate sensitively with their patients. I'm not a doctor or nurse, but I'm highly trained in these exams and probably the only patient these students will ever have who can say, "That wasn't my ovary, but here's what you can do to find it."


What I do as a GTA is all about laypeople taking control of their own bodies and health, and you definitely don't have to be willing to take your pants off at work to start doing that. Here are some ways you can take charge of your own healthcare and feel more comfortable at your next gynecological exam — and who knows, maybe your doctor will even learn something!


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Use a mirror to follow along and learn what’s normal for you.


Use a mirror to follow along and learn what’s normal for you.


Some providers automatically offer a mirror, but if yours doesn't you can bring your own. Many people find this makes them feel safer and more in control. It means no surprises, and it definitely helps cut down on that startled jerk when your provider makes contact with your vulva and you weren't expecting it. Vulvas come in a wide range, and healthy and normal look different for everyone. This is a great way to find out what they mean for you.


MTV / Via skullx96.tumblr.com


Doing pelvic muscle exercises beforehand can help make the exam more comfortable.


Doing pelvic muscle exercises beforehand can help make the exam more comfortable.


The most effective ways to prepare your muscles down under for this exam are Kegel maneuvers (squeeze and pull up and in like you're stopping the flow of urine) and Valsalva maneuvers (bear down like you're making a bowel movement).


Kegels tone the muscles of your pelvic floor, which your provider will be checking, to better support your internal organs and increase sexual pleasure. Any time you contract muscles you also want to extend them, so make sure you add some deep squats to your routine to keep your pelvis balanced (think going to the bathroom outside). Valsalvas are very useful during the exam: Any time you feel tense, or your provider is about to place something in your vagina, bear down. It softens all your muscles and opens the entrance to your vagina, which will make things much more comfortable for you.


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39 Reasons Why Italy Is Actually The Worst

Please never go there!


If people tell you Italy is beautiful, do NOT believe them.


If people tell you Italy is beautiful, do NOT believe them.


Lake Como (Lombardia).


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Italy is just the worst.


Italy is just the worst.


Lecce (Puglia)


Getty Images via Thinkstock


Seriously.


Seriously.


Matera (Basilicata)


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It is absolutely vile.


It is absolutely vile.


Vieste (Puglia)


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The Beerito Is The Answer To All Your Outdoor Drinking Questions

The great dilemma of summer has been solved.


This is The Beerito. Isn't it beautiful?


This is The Beerito. Isn't it beautiful?


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"What do you mean, no alcoholic beverages allowed?"


"What do you mean, no alcoholic beverages allowed?"


Fox TV / giphy.com


"How may I best disguise my beer so as to circumvent this outrageous rule?"


"How may I best disguise my beer so as to circumvent this outrageous rule?"


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"Mad Men" Costume Designer Janie Bryant Has The Best Instagram Ever

For “Mad Men” super fans, of course.


Praise Draper, Mad Men finnnnnalllly returns for its very last episodes this Sunday.


Praise Draper, Mad Men finnnnnalllly returns for its very last episodes this Sunday.


AMC


But in the meantime? You should check out the Instagram account of Janie Bryant.



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Who's that? Just the woman responsible for all of Mad Men's stellar costumes.



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Bryant doesn't just simply source a bunch of great vintage pieces, she also creates a lot of the '60s looks from scratch.



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16 Stories That Will Restore Your Faith In Marriage

Don’t believe the naysayers — marriage really can be awesome. This surprisingly heartwarming Reddit thread proves it.


Reddit user IamNotCleverEnough recently posed this question on r/askReddit: "Happily married people of reddit, when did you realize your marriage was awesome and what makes it awesome?"


Reddit user IamNotCleverEnough recently posed this question on r/askReddit: "Happily married people of reddit, when did you realize your marriage was awesome and what makes it awesome?"


In less than 24 hours, the question received over 2,260 comments. And they do not disappoint. Here are some of the heartwarming and adorable answers.


(Is it dusty in here, or what?)


Mrovka / Getty Images



An awesome marriage is one where you can enjoy the finer things in life together.



brian / Creative Commons / Via Flickr: brianpdx



Or when you get a kick out of your person's adorable quirks.




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Moms, Tell Us Your Most Empowering Stories From Giving Birth

And people say that skydiving is a rush.


You gave birth. A human being lived inside of you. And came out of you.


You gave birth. A human being lived inside of you. And came out of you.


You are a bad ass.


DC Comics


Sure, there's a lot about birth that is fluid-y and scary, but no matter how it goes down it's one hell of an accomplishment.


Sure, there's a lot about birth that is fluid-y and scary, but no matter how it goes down it's one hell of an accomplishment.


A HUMAN. CAME OUT. OF YOU.


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Whether you delivered at home, via c-section, or out in the woods, you did it.


Whether you delivered at home, via c-section, or out in the woods, you did it.


NBC


You are a mother, and you earned those stripes.


You are a mother, and you earned those stripes.


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Premiere: Stromae Warns Of The Tweetpocalypse In Amazingly Animated "Carmen" Video

The Belgian singer takes aim at your social media addiction in his latest music video, created by the director of The Triplets of Belleville and The Illusionist.


This is Stromae. Maybe you've heard of him?


This is Stromae. Maybe you've heard of him?


He's one of the biggest stars in the French-speaking world and his brilliant-in-any-language music videos have racked up over 400 million views on YouTube. Also, Kanye West is a fan.


Michael Loccisano / Getty Images for SXSW


The animated "Carmen" clip was directed by the acclaimed French filmmaker Sylvain Chomet. Stromae first teased the video on Instagram, an appropriate strategy given that it follows his drawn doppelgänger as he falls into the social media abyss.



Chomet gave the cartoon his signature evocative style. Widely regarded as one of the best animators in the world, his films — The Triplets of Belleville and The Illusionist — were both nominated for Academy Awards.


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His slow descent into Twitter madness begins innocently, with an adorable gap-toothed selfie.


His slow descent into Twitter madness begins innocently, with an adorable gap-toothed selfie.


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Which Tiny Little Animal Are You?

Get ready to be adorable.




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An ESPN Reporter Smacked Down A Football Fan On Live TV For Making An Anti-Gay Comment

Gabriela Moreira said the press cannot be “a vehicle for any kind of prejudice”.


Last week Gabriela Moreira, a Brazilian ESPN presenter, was interviewing a Palmeiras fan on live television.


Last week Gabriela Moreira, a Brazilian ESPN presenter, was interviewing a Palmeiras fan on live television.


The interviewee, Felipe, 25, was being interviewed ahead of the team's game against Sao Paulo in front of the Palestra Italia stadium.


espn.uol.com.br


When asked what he thought his team's chances were, he replied that he expected them to "beat the fags".


When asked what he thought his team's chances were, he replied that he expected them to "beat the fags".


espn.uol.com.br


Whereupon Moreira pulled this face...


Whereupon Moreira pulled this face...


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...and said to him: "Boy, I don't know if you will win – but no to homophobia."


...and said to him: "Boy, I don't know if you will win – but no to homophobia."


She continued: "How old are you? 25? Please...let's try to...modernize this thought."


And then she got back to interviewing him about the team – but at the interview she said she wanted to "reinforce" her message: "no to homophobia".


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This Theory Might Be The Answer To The Secret Krabby Patty Recipe

Please don’t read if your name is Plankton.


Reddit user Schiavello recently commented on a thread discussing the origins of the Krabby Patty secret recipe. Their theory was intense, and also quite possible.


Reddit user Schiavello recently commented on a thread discussing the origins of the Krabby Patty secret recipe. Their theory was intense, and also quite possible.


Nickelodeon


Schiavello's hypothesis is that the secret ingredient in the krabby patty recipe is, well... fish.


Schiavello's hypothesis is that the secret ingredient in the krabby patty recipe is, well... fish.


Nickelodeon


They then go on to make some pretty good points; Where are they gonna get ground beef on the bottom of the ocean? Why would Mr Krabs be so insistent on no one knowing the secret recipe? Simple: the burgers are made with fish.


They then go on to make some pretty good points; Where are they gonna get ground beef on the bottom of the ocean? Why would Mr Krabs be so insistent on no one knowing the secret recipe? Simple: the burgers are made with fish.


Nickelodeon


Some countered Schiavello's theory, contesting it by bringing to mind the episode Friend or Foe in which Krabs and Plankton work together to make the Krabby Patty recipe.


Some countered Schiavello's theory, contesting it by bringing to mind the episode Friend or Foe in which Krabs and Plankton work together to make the Krabby Patty recipe.


The pair end up fighting and split the recipe in half - with Plankton walking away with the half that says "and a pinch of chum" (hence the Chum Bucket) and Krabs the rest.


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23 Times Golden Retriever Puppies Were The Biggest Dorks On Earth

Doesn’t really get doofier than this.


When this dude thought the dishwasher was his chair.


When this dude thought the dishwasher was his chair.


i.imgur.com


And when this little girl forgot which way to take a selfie.


And when this little girl forgot which way to take a selfie.


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When this fluff was the most bashful pup around.


When this fluff was the most bashful pup around.


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A New Facebook App Wants To Test Your DNA

Scientists developed the app to help recruit people for a massive genetic study. The project, which could draw scrutiny from ethicists and federal regulators, has the potential to go viral with Facebook’s help.



Genes for Good / Via Facebook: genesforgood


A medical research study launched Tuesday aims to screen the genes of at least 20,000 people. Part of a surging tide of genetic research, this project would be unremarkable if not for the place it's recruiting and communicating with volunteers: Facebook.


The scientists behind the project, Genes for Good, hope that Facebook users will send a tube of their spit to a laboratory at the University of Michigan and use a free Facebook app to fill out periodic surveys about their health, habits, and moods.


The scientists will screen the volunteers' DNA to try to discover new links between certain genetic variants, health, and disease. To rigorously establish these links, the researchers will need to enlist tens of thousands of volunteers from a wide variety of backgrounds.


"We're really hoping that the main reason people will join is to say, 'Hey, my health and genetic information is valuable. I would like to share it and put it to good use,'" Gonçalo Abecasis, professor of biostatistics at the University of Michigan and one of the leaders of the project, told BuzzFeed News. "Hopefully that will be the major motivator."


Abecasis and his colleagues stress that the Facebook app is a digital portal, and that Facebook will not have access to volunteers' personal information. From the scientists' perspective, Facebook is simply a communication service: a smart way to recruit the massive number of volunteers needed to carry out complex genetic studies. "The standard ways of collecting information on people don't really scale," Abecasis said.


Genes for Good could go viral if it taps into the public's altruistic streak — as did Facebook's organ donation status field, get out the vote campaigns, and the Ice Bucket Challenge.


On the other hand, some people are growing wary of Facebook's reach into seemingly every aspect of life, and all of the privacy and security concerns that come with that. What's more, the new app comes at a time when the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) is beginning to crack down on genetic tests of all sorts.


"Some people are going to freak out about this," Michelle Meyer, an assistant professor at the Union Graduate College-Mt. Sinai Bioethics Program, told BuzzFeed News. "DNA and Facebook are two words that most people do not want to hear in the same sentence."



Genes for Good / Via Facebook: genesforgood


They will be able to track how their answers to surveys — such as the age that they smoked their first cigarette, what time they went to sleep the night before, and how extroverted they are — compare to other volunteers.


They'll also get some insight into their genomes. The researchers will extract DNA from each saliva sample and screen it for about half a million genetic markers. Some of these give clues about ancestry, which the researchers will interpret for volunteers. For example, the Facebook app creates a pie chart showing the proportion of the volunteer's ancestors who came from Europe, Africa, East Asia, and other areas of the world.


The researchers are keenly interested in markers with medical relevance, and will begin by taking a close look at about 100 genes. Certain genetic variants in the APOE gene, for example, increase the risk of Alzheimer's disease.


For now, following recommendations of the project's ethical review board, the researchers aren't going to tell study volunteers anything about their genetic risk of disease. Participants will be able to download an encrypted file with all of their raw genetic data, however, and those who are savvy about genetics could dig into their health-related DNA markers.


"There are rogue websites out there" — such as SNPedia — "where you can upload genetic data and get some kind of interpretation back about disease risks," Scott Vrieze, an assistant professor of psychology and neuroscience at the University of Colorado, Boulder, and co-leader of the new app, told BuzzFeed News.




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21 Things Only People Who Are Socially Anxious Will Understand

Shut up, brain. It’s time to finally talk to people.


First of all, you’re not a big fan of social gatherings.


First of all, you’re not a big fan of social gatherings.


More often than not you’d rather stay home.


Universal Studios


But you also most likely have a deep fear of missing out on things.


But you also most likely have a deep fear of missing out on things.


What if your friends are having fun without you right now? You'll be out of the loop again.


Comedy Central / Via themanmadecave.tumblr.com


Your mind is constantly busy coming up with scenarios that could happen if you finally plucked up the courage to interact with people.


Your mind is constantly busy coming up with scenarios that could happen if you finally plucked up the courage to interact with people.


Will you make a fool of yourself if you say this or that? What if they laugh at you? A constant stream of questions.


Via cheezburger.com


Or it's preoccupied with things that actually did happen and replays them all in a never-ending search for major fuck-ups.


Or it's preoccupied with things that actually did happen and replays them all in a never-ending search for major fuck-ups.


"Oh, God. Why did I do that?"


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Let's All Take A Moment To Appreciate Maisie Williams' Badass Handbag Game

Game of Clutches.


On Game Of Thrones she's a wayward tomboy with her sword as her main choice of accessory.


On Game Of Thrones she's a wayward tomboy with her sword as her main choice of accessory.


HBO


She's the queen of cool on red carpets, whether it's a bright clutch.


She's the queen of cool on red carpets, whether it's a bright clutch.


Pascal Le Segretain / Getty Images


To, of course, match her colour popping shoes.


To, of course, match her colour popping shoes.


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21 Questions Gay People Have For Straight People

Are your parents comfortable with your lifestyle?


When did you know that you were straight?


When did you know that you were straight?


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Are your parents comfortable with your lifestyle?


Are your parents comfortable with your lifestyle?


Fox / Via vidalajuicee.tumblr.com


Which one of you thought the saying, "It's Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve" was cute? Be honest.


Which one of you thought the saying, "It's Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve" was cute? Be honest.


Via gifsec.com


Do you ever get upset when someone refers to you as their straight best friend?


Do you ever get upset when someone refers to you as their straight best friend?


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